meggy_meg's Journal

5:10pm: the rock vs the hard place
On one shoulder I have a friend mourning the loss of a boy I think she should have left months ago. 
On the other I have a boyfriend pretending to not mourn the loss of a dream, a career, and a band he has had for over 5 years. 

How do I comfort them when I know it is all for the best?? Lord give me strength to bite my tongue and be what they need.  

3:16pm: Munster

The first thing I've made with my sewing machine that required more than a straight line.

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Dave is going to PA this weekend to do some work on his friends "land". And I wanted to send him away with something silly... Candi suggested getting a teddy bear.. but that was a little too uhh Candi for me. I, of course, wanted something cherry like SOO i came up with making a little munster. It is a little skewy but i am pretty proud of him.

3:07pm: April is the month of Reckoning

There is not a single thing happening in April that should create any turmoil in my relationship. So I have decided that I should not create any as well. 
The band is all leaving again on Saturday. So I will have complete control over my schedule again. 
M-Bitch has finally updated all the stupid shit on her myspace, proving that she is finally taking steps to be over this situation. 
There are still a few pictures that could be taken down... but I will give her time, she is only 20 for christ's sake. 
The idiot i call my boyfriend, asked if i "liked seeing her suffering"  HA HA HA of course I do. Listen buddy. if you want me to be able to get thru the stupid ass shit you created. you have to allow me to laugh at someone who has attempted to cause me great pain. 

It has only been 2 days but it is surprisingly easy to handle situations when you treat them like a test. 
It is easy not to get mad at stupid shit, when I am keeping a running list in my head that will be tallied at the end of the month. as if i were "keeping score" on our relationship. 
I can't figure out why so far I have been willing to put up with so much crap... So I am hoping that this will help me determine if it is worth creating a future.

2:53pm: I am so tired of talking about this to Dave. And I know becky bek is tired of talking to me about it.
But the feeling is still in my stomach, and so I feel like I still need to keep letting things off my chest. Not knowing who is looking or not looking... 

Now when i say move on, I really mean it... and when she says she has i assume she means in the same way that i do.
So why oh why would she want him to listen to this song on her myspace tuner thing....
If she isn't jealous... or if she  has moved on???
Angels and Airwaves "Do it for me now"

I'm frightened at night and the wind has a roar
It seeps through the hall and from under the door
Like the shit that was said
I can't take it that well
I give and I give and I give and I give and I'm still
Lost and hurt and bone thin from the love that's been starved
I know it got close but I'm sure it's too far
From the point of suspense, we know it should be
The end of that part of our favorite movie
When the guy grabs the girl and gives her his hand
Says take me away from this torturous land
Cause the grave is set up, the hole that I dug
I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave you my trust
Like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie
To add to the scene you pretended to cry
But I'm here and I'm cool, the way that it is
Just give me a chance and I'll try to forgive

And I don't know
And I can't guess
If it's gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I'm the only one
I know you can
Won't you do it for me now

I've really had it with the rain of the tears
The predictable storm that has come every year
And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand
I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I can't
You're a thief and a witch but I love you to death
You steal my heart and curse under your breath
But the one thing that I can most willingly prove
That when you are gone I'll be fine without you

And I don't know
And I can't guess
If it's gonna be OK
But now my last wish
Is that you do this with me
Kiss me here and hold my hand
Let me feel like I'm the only one
I know you can
Won't you do it for me now?

Now just hold on, hold on to me
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)
Hold on, hold on to me (hold on to me)

11:31am: Blast from the past
yesterday at Candi's party I discovered that two of the grrls invited were fighting over a boy.
One of the grrls has had a crush on this boy since she met him, and has even done the sex with him. (she didn't enjoy it, and he said it wouldn't happen again)
The other one, just broke up with said guys best friend, and has since done the sex with said guy.
her ex discovered the news at a house party and made sure everyone knew what a messed up situation they had created.
Justin stood with his eyes on the floor, and did not comment!

3:01pm: I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I just need to say I am really happy.
(while i mightn't go out late at night and dance with the grrls)
i have a date with my BFF. Sunday. and another on Tuesday. with my old roommate.
AND I a cute little boy waiting for me at his house, sometimes with dinner, sometimes covered in grease from working on my car.

I am not only in love with Rebekah and David.
I am in love with my life.

10:20am: THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Meghan
2. meg
3. Meggy Meg

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. ruckabillie
2. livpmeg
3.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. big old italian nose
2. naturally black hair (hahaha yeah right)
3. the way rebekah's clothes look on me

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. hip/waist ratio
2. weak arms
3. slouched back

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. English (1/2)
2. Italian (1/4)
3. Portugese (1/4)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Ruckus barking in the night
2. cavities
3. someone I love being hit by a car

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. toothpaste
2. Breakfast (it is the most important meal of the day)
3. Cuddle time with Ruckers

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: (do you mean everyday?)
1. Chucks
2. jeans
3. studded belt

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Joan Jett
2. afi
3. tiger army

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:(i don't know song names, all my cd's were burned)
1. bad reputation--joan jett
2. track 6 on that neutral milk hotel cd.
3. whole world-- outkast

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. two people that aren't me
2. non existance
3. nothing but "doing it"

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. i have an amazing boyfriend
2. i have some amazing friends
3. my possee is the hottest around

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. neck tattoos (wait, appeal? fuck)
2. awkwardly proportioned bodies
3. long flowing blonde hair

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. cooking
2. late night chats with good friends
3. taking walks with my pup

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. uhh, i guess get slapped by Becky Bek
2. call him
3. call him

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Teacher
2. Carpenter
3. airplane mechanic

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Wales
2. anywhere you can camp (duh)
3. London

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. i try to live, so that if i
2. died today i would be fulfilled.
3. so far i am doing okay

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. i have short hair
2. i like doing it, then not talking to the person ever again(oh man two truths and a lie right?)
3. i have to be surrounded by beautiful women

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. i have webbed feet
2. i am fluffy
3. i dream of one day becoming fried and served at KFC

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. W. Ryder
2. J. Depp
3. J. Jett

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. uhh oh i don't know anyone.
2.
3.

12:35pm: well, looks like i was wrong
adj 1: fastened together; "a picnic table with attached benches" 2: being joined in close association; "affiliated clubs"; "all art schools whether independent or attached to universities" [syn: affiliated, connected] 3: used of buildings joined by common sidewalls; "a block of attached houses" [ant: detached] 4: permanently attached to a substrate; not free to move about; "an attached oyster"; "sessile marine animals and plants" [syn: sessile] [ant: vagile] 5: associated in an exclusive sexual relationship [syn: committed] [ant: unattached]